Pink Elephants go Dancing by in East Tennessee

Life in East Tennessee has been stretching to say the least. I had 6 roommates and now I'm down to 2...or so I hope. My classmate and I were watching a movie when I saw something scurry across the floor. 2 days later and plenty of cheese we found out those good ole wooden mouse traps work! My kitty is here with me, she aint a lick of good...she's also in "heat" and is more interested in waving her butt in the air than searching for mice. Silly kitty. Rural medicine is just that-rural. I've had some interesting days and I've had more boring days than I care to. On the bright side, I'm getting homework done and will finally meet my preceptor on Monday. yippee!

There's not much here in east TN, and surely there aren't pink elephants. That is unless one comes to mind.

Have you ever been afraid of the past? You have memories and emotions that haunt you and affect your every move but the pain seems too large to even think about it. I have many scars and many wounds from my past. I've been running from them ever since...well, ever since they happened. I finally got to the place where after 2 years of therapy it's time to stop procrastinating and begin to confront these monsters. Hooray for Jesus. I have cried and I have flat out said, "No. I will not go there. I don't want to even think about it." I've spent a lot of years building brick walls to keep the pain from hurting me, and a lot of wasted time and valuable life experiences from standing guard.

Until finally the other night, and after a long Mexican stand off with God, Jesus says to me, "Let me show you my way." My thoughts go back to the day when the teasing of my third grade peers finally penetrated the beautiful, vivacious, confident girl I once was. "Pink Elephant" was the final straw and I just sat at recess and cried leaving my friend Gina helpless to comfort me. When Jesus comes into moments like those, everything changes. Jesus was standing next to me and when the kid points and says "Pink Elephant" Jesus and I look at each other bewildered, and then look to see what's behind us...as if the boy was referring to something other than me. And sure enough, there was a bold, proud, silly looking pink elephant marching by with the most confident smile. Jesus and I just bust out laughing! And I didn't cry after that. The thought fades and I find myself still laughing. The pain gone. Ready to take on the world...at least for the day anyway...

...And when I see Jesus in the midst of my father yelling at me during my high school years, Jesus just whispers, "See how much he loves you." And the anger just melts. The resentment and the pain, they're gone. Simply because Jesus brings a whole new perspective. He sees the things I can't. He heals in ways I can only dare to dream. He's not bound by time and can change life events that shaped and molded the very essence of who I am. I get the best of both worlds...I'm a better for person for those hardships. Jesus never meant for the trials that produce perserverance to produce incompacitance. No, I don't want to relive the pain, and I don't have to when I see it Jesus' way. Hooray for Jesus.