"I'm human too, ya know..."

Twelve-hour-shifts are hard enough especially when you top it off with an hour commute home. In the wee hours of one Saturday morning I was compelled to stay over a couple of hours. Of course, I had a hard time driving home safely but I made it nonetheless...just don't tell my parents. :o) A patient came into the ER after swallowing an open bag of cocaine to avoid getting caught by the police. This person did get caught and was freaked out enough to say what had happened. Into the ER he came, scared, embarrassed, ashamed, and offensive.

After contacting poison control, the jury was in, this person needed to have an NG tube. It's not a very pleasant task. What's involved is sticking a hard plastic tube up your nose and then you have to keep swallowing it until it's completely shoved into your stomach. A numbing medicine is usually given first, but, in this case, there was a sense of urgency.

After the tube was placed, blood had to be drawn. It was my first time to see "track marks" and the experience was awkward for the both of us. I didn't mean to be condescending. I asked to see the guy's arms assuming that IV drug use was common knowledge. I quickly learned that wasn't the case when he asked me, "Why?" I came up with a quick answer, "To see where we're going to draw the blood." He was no fool and stated, "That's not what you meant." He was so ashamed of his arms. You could see the humiliation on his face. Only to make matters worse, we had to look at his feet for decent veins. Again, a no-go, and more humiliation washed across his face. Finally we asked him to try drawing his own blood. He wasn't too keen on the idea but did it anyway which resulted in another failed attempt. The only option left was going for the neck, no joke. Instead of humiliation, this time it was fear.

He made the comment, "Can I just go to jail now? I'd rather be there than here." The officer on guard replied, "This all wouldn't have happened if you could just stop using cocaine." To which I replied, "Unfortunately, that's easier said than done." As one with something resembling an addiction, albeit food which doesn't require an NG tube, my heart went out to him. Yes he made poor choices, but ... I'm sure he didn't sign up for the lot he was in that night.

I don't understand the callousness of those who have worked in this ER longer than I. Do you get to a point where you have to stop putting yourself into the patient's shoes just so you can survive the harshness of what comes through those doors? I don't know which to believe, the compassion or the jokes. It was this reality that kept me there. I stayed behind and slowly pushed a heavy-duty laxative (ironically called Go Lightly) into his stomach to get that cocaine out and get it out fast.

This isn't a post to brag about what a servant's heart I have. I booked it out of there when the diarrhea came! I was too tired to take anymore, I had reached my limit. So I really didn't mind my instructor's gentle urge to go home. This has definitely been an experience to remember. I suppose the moral of the story is simply this -- going to jail is better than getting a tube shoved up your nose and down your throat.